My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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