Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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