well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
