At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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