i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You don't make any sense
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