More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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