this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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