Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
