I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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