Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
