your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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