YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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