Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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