Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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