I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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