I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
