I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
