I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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