So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize