Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
my nose is crying tears of wow.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
