All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
