Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize