God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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