I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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