Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
