...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
