I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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