dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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