I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
