So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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