Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
