i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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