I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
