you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
