I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Randomize
