just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
