You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Barsexuality is the new black.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
