S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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