My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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