they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Randomize
