I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
