shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
When are your genitals available?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
