I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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