on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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