What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
