He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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