please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
