You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
