This girl is more easily done than said...
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
