Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
