theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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