I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
you win again, gameday.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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