I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
