Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You know, be my cock's hype man.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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