im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
