I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
