she woke up with a sticky ear
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Randomize
