She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
