Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
