don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
